Foreign Vs Home-grown...

I came across this funny cartoon (Translation: kids basically wanting what isn’t readily available) and after the laughter faded, several things came to mind...Let me put this into context. I am referring to Las Gidi babes, 9aija babes, Aristo babes, wuteva d heck they’re called now! I am talking about how we (18-29 age group) are chasing our Nigerian men away with our materialism, how we make criminals of them to suit our lavish lifestyles.

I had been thinking about this for awhile now, hearing my brothers/ guy friends talking about not being able to date 9aija girls again because they can’t keep up with their “long-throat”. And my friends/ family pple are faaaaar from church rats…so this was saying something. Younger guys don’t even bother any more, they’ve left it to the older men with more money. I mean, how can they compete? (4get d silver spoon kiddos for a hot minute)

Then I came across this article on Sturvs about Jim Iyke being in a relationship with a woman he’s very happy with and with whom he may be walking down the aisle with in fact! Surprise surprise, she’s Jamaican…I read on to find out what she had that all the 9aija women he dated couldn’t offer him…and I have to admit, I couldn’t even fault his logic man! He said this woman fell in love with his mind, with him as a person, not the actor or play-boy persona we all see, he said he didn’t have to continually prove his worth to her or convince her to shun society’s remarks of his personality, how it didn’t take as long to convince her that the “female” he was reportedly flirting with is actually just a platonic friend…nothing more, how 9aija women focus more on pedigree, social background, wealth etc than the actual person. Closer to home, my brother is now dating a Ghanaian chick and is very happy.

When I was in 9aija last summer, and several guys chatted me up (being the hot sturvs dat I am, lol!), I noticed a pattern with all of them…they always started with what they could offer me… “Baby, what is it you want? Is it Dubai? Let’s go der!, let me take care of you, mo lenu pa! ma na’wo si e lorun! (Translation: I’m well known, I get mouth, I’ll spend lavishly on you.) lmao! While it was very funny/ endearing, it made me worry. Why did they feel the need to offer me luxuries first? Am I now incapable of falling in love with their person without being offered money first? Ah ah, I felt like a prostitute oh…had to be bought over shaa! Is it a lack of confidence on their part or the act they feel that they have to put up?

But I worry oh…I really worry! Even the songs coming outta 9aij, Eldee’s Bosi bangba, d’banj, its all them tryna let you know how much they have, which is the reason why women follow them in droves. Don’t get me wrong oh, I absolutely heart luxuries, I am a shopaholic and I will not complain if you reeeeli wana spend! i know money makes the world go round but I have a problem with those who can’t afford it and try so hard to "feel among", I worry about love going extinct and social class/ wealth taking its place, I worry about hard-working men who get their love thrown back in their face because they can’t afford a Hermes Birkin.

Very soon, all the eligible men will cross borders to find wifey, den una go sidon look wondering where the hell they all went to. We have to be willing to grow with a man, so that when he does rise to the top (in a legit way), you can both enjoy the spoils together. And he will rise to the top, IF he has your love and support.

I blame the mothers, the caregivers, I blame the state of the nation, poverty and all those things that made the Nigerian female the gold-digging pro she is now.

“Those who insult our generation forget who raised it.”

PS: Biko, i beg the pardon of whoever this cartoon originally belongs to. all copyrights ish duly observed!

See wut im working with!

Someone once wrote "while writing fiction, one can wish for reality"...

Being my first blog post, i wanted to fill pple in on wut to expect from me...

Bcos human nature fascinates me so much, i will talk about relationships....they are the one thing you can't predict.
But Bcos Nigerian relationships are the ones i have the most experience on, this is what i'll do.
i will tell stories, i will throw questions out there, ask for your thoughts on issues...


let me tell a little story about a young woman i will call Devota.
So Devota is a lawyer, married to this business man. He came in from England and they hooked up. She was in the Unilag at the time when they started dating. Before long, she was pregnant and they held the traditional wedding ceremony.
they guy seemed to be a baller; they were living in a rented house of about N2mil, she had just returned from birthing her beautiful daughter in Yankee, she just graduated from law school...life was good.

Then Hubby told her not to practise, being a new mother; that she should join him in business instead. he had a rentals business...knowing lagos, parties never stop, so business was good.
then she had a second daughter....at this point, hubby wus geting impatient, really wanting a son now. then she got preggers for her 3rd baby, but when the scan showed it was a girl, she aborted it, waiting on this son. again, she got preggers, using all the tips and old wives tales on getting a male child.
But nope, she had another girl. hubby wus so pissed he said, "what am i going to do with an unemployed wife and 3 daughters"?
i think at this point, he began to listen to friends and bowed to family pressure so he started to take his frustration out on Devota. He did not even attend the naming ceremony of his new little girl, saying he had business to attend to overseas.
at this point, Devota started looking for a job bcos his stay abroad wus getting extended. but the law firms were not keen on taking a lawyer with no prior experience.it got so bad she had to begin borrowing money from friends.
She keeps asking how she got herself into this quagmire in the first place...

what i still find difficult to comprehend is the reality that some Nigerian men despite impeccable education and a good deal of refinement, still insist on this "male child" issue.
what ever happened to placing value on the girl-child?

do you think this is a reality that will never really go away? how can women like Devota avoid getting into such situations?

Bear in mind that this phenomenon is no respecter of tribes...it cuts across all cultures...from ibos to yoruba pple.