What If?

I do not think that anyone walks into a relationship already envisaging the end of it. Unfortunately, sometimes the relationship does come to an end and you would have dated several potential suitors before you reach your last bus stop…

What do you do when you feel it in the very centre of your being that your relationship is dangerously close to its expiry date?
Do you close your eyes to the obvious truth or suddenly become a believer, hoping against hope that God will intervene miraculously and save your marriage/ relationship?
What I have noticed about the Nigerian society regarding relationships is the tenacity and the fighting spirit; this refusal to let go. You begin to blame in-laws, young girls outside, bad friends of your spouse who are influencing them negatively… The excuse that your religion does not permit divorce is always there too; and the list goes on.
While this is very admirable, sometimes it is just the simple fact that you are badly suited to each other.
It is very possible that it is this determination to keep the relationship/ marriage going that will rescue whatever love you have left between you.
However, sometimes we have to be willing to let go. It is not admittance to failure; it is just an acknowledgement that this one time, you chose wrongly. And that is life really; you win some, you loose some.
The major issue is the fear that once you let one go, the likelihood of getting another is slim. This is when the “what-ifs” begin to plague your mind until you have reduced yourself to your lowest terms. This is when you remember that age is not on your side and you already have one kid and your body is not as youthful as it once was. I call this reducing yourself to your lowest terms because you only think of yourself as a means to another’s end; a baby’s mother, someone’s husband or wife, etc. You might want to begin to think of relationships as something that should make you happy first and foremost, that edifies your soul, which puts a song in your heart.
At the end of the day, it just might be that your partner will love you even more for having the courage to let go; you can then give each other individual chances at happiness. What’s more, if the relationship produced kids, your children get to grow up in a more loving environment instead of experiencing the constant bickering or bad blood that exists between you two.

No one can tell you what is best for you. You will need to look inside yourself and make that decision from within. For a moment, forget society, and mothers and in-laws and what everyone else expects that you will do. This one time, do it for you.