Run Down!

So I was talking to an older friend the other day…and this is what she lamented about…
My friend is in her late 20’s and is married with a kid. At the start of her relationship, her husband was fun to be around, the life of the party and totally into her. You know, the calling all the damn time, wining-and-dining that comes with the honey-moon stage of every relationship. He had his shades on all the time, with “Gongo Aso” everly blaring from the speakers of his Cayenne. To use Banky W’s words… “face of a fine boy, so much Swagga”!

Lately, she said he’s become emotionally abusive and has nothing nice to say to her. Whenever she dresses up, he runs her outfit down, saying stuff lyk
“see how this outfit is showing all the contours of your body…don’t you see how Abuja babes are dressing ni?” or “ gbogbo oju e loti baje yen (meaning ur face is all messed up now- referring to her spots I assume.)
Incase you are wondering, my friend is actually very pretty…tall, fair-skinned, nice boobs…d whole works u know…but no one is without their imperfections.
When its time to wind down in the evening and they are conversating about the events of the day and my friend is giving him gist about, say a friend of hers who’s experiencing marital problems, he flares up saying she’s just a nasty gossip & that is the sort of thing that always comes out of her mouth…
Then, thinking he’s one of those types that are averse to female gossip, she changes the topic of the convo to herself, asking him for advice, say about her career progression…this guy just tells her to do what she thinks is best. He never has any good advice to give and scarcely has deep moments…she says she never talks to him these days cos she does not know what may anger him. She just listens to him talk…
Trying to be objective, I say maybe he thinks you are better suited to decide your life ambitions yourself...but she tells me about how he constantly receives calls from female “colleagues” listening attentively to their problems, and throwing in words of wisdom every now and then….So its as not as if hubby is a bad listener or doesn’t know what to do/say.
When she finally went ahead and took up a Senior Position at work, he accused her of taking decisions without asking his opinion or thinking selfishly about her self as opposed to the best interests of the family.
She was like, “ but I asked you and you said to do what i felt was best.?!”
He replies with “Na wa oh”!

Worse still, he gets so paranoid when she receives calls from other male friends of hers...
The other day, a male colleague of hers was calling her at nite. But she was worried about picking the phone because hubby gets into a serious hissy fit when the dude calls, accusing her of having an affair/ something on the side with this guy-friend.
(You see, my friend and the guy-friend are both doctors and used to work in National Hospital together before the friend travelled to Jand for his Residency. )
Guy-friend kept calling frantically from Jand…lyk over 10 times, and this was late in the evening. Not wanting to start a fight with her hubby, she ignored the call and switched her phone off.
The next day she called him, wanting to find out what was so damn urgent last night.
Only for Guy-friend to accuse her of being a very bad friend, that she’s not there for others in time of need. Apparently, guy-friend’s young relation was visiting 9aija from JD and was staying over at their crib in Wuse. She came with other friends of hers for her mate’s wedding. So the night before she was scheduled to go back to JD, she went with her friends to some suya spot, you know…wanting to get her fill of 9aija barbecue before it was time to go back. His mum was’nt really feeling it, telling them to stay home…that its not safe at night for young girls and she’s got an early flight to catch. She even called the babe’s mumc, telling her that your daughter wants to be roaming the streets oh in search of suya at this ungodly hour…(you know how 9aija mumcs get sick with worry)
The babe sha went with her friends down the road for her suya…only for them to return with the other friend carrying her on the back. Apparently, after tasting the suya, she began gasping for breath really badly and she couldn’t walk…turns out babe is asthmatic and allergic to groundnuts, pepper n ish. Guy-friend’s mumc now called him shrieking on the fone that
“ko ma mi mo” (she’s not breathing!).
Obviously unable to do anything from where he was at, he was calling my friend so she could rush down to give CPR or some other emergency procedure before they get to the clinic…
My friend lives not too far from their base in Wuse.
To cut a long story short, the babe died within 10 mins of all this madness and by the time they got to the hospital, nothing could be done but to pronounce her dead.
You can imagine how bad my friend felt about this…

Only for her hubby to start making comments the next morning about how she’s not “pure”, she’s a very sly person…that he wonders which man-friend was calling her last night that she couldn’t pick up….blah blah blah

She couldn’t tell him anything about the events of the night before, worried that he would disapprove of her maintaining contact with her guy-friend. In short, hubby has put the fear of God in her oh.
And now almost 6 weeks after, guy-friend is still not talking to her.

So my question is…what is it about distrusting and running your partner down that appeals to certain men?